These are all very good questions as we hear a lot about being grateful and its effect on your life. But how does gratitude work?
Imagine this:
You are being asked to do more at work, but no one seems to be happy with all that you are already doing. You are feeling frustrated. After you pick up the kids from school, spend lot of time finding a dinner recipe and preparing it, they only complain that they don’t like it. There is a mountain of laundry to fold, a sink full of dirty dishes and your spouse is working late or is out of town. You feel overwhelmed and wish life was different….better.
Can you relate to this story? Many of us have a similar story or have a story that is much worse with many more problems and drama going on. If that is your situation, there 1 word that I want you to remember as these thoughts go through your head:
Gratitude
This word will change your thoughts and your emotions. When we focus on the things we don’t have or the things that are going wrong in life, it leads to negative emotions such as sadness, frustration, overwhelm, anger, etc. But, when you flip the thoughts to focus on the positive things in life, your emotions will also become positive.
How do you do this?
List the things that you are grateful for. Many of us sit around the Thanksgiving table and list the things that we are thankful for. And this is a good thing!
According to studies people who express gratitude are more positive and optimistic. Makes sense – thoughts trigger emotions. So positive thoughts trigger positive emotions. According to Harvard Health,
“In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
My challenge to you is to not make this just a Thanksgiving tradition but make it an everyday tradition. So, start the day off right – when your alarm goes off in the morning and thoughts of another LONG day creep into your head, change that thought. Sit up, stretch, and say (aloud) 3 things that you are grateful for. Better yet, write them down in a gratitude journal. They can be simple things like:
- the beauty of the trees outside
- the nice smell of your morning coffee or tea
- your child’s laugh or silly jokes
- your spouse still by your side or the good friends you have that are always there for you
- the excitement from your pet when you walk in the door
- the house/apartment that you live in
Gratitude helps you to appreciate all that you have instead of focusing on what you lack. In one study from the University of Miami, people wrote about things that happened during the week for which they were grateful, and another group wrote about things that irritated them throughout the week.
“After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.”
It doesn’t surprise me that the group who expressed gratitude exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians. That’s because negative emotions cause negative actions. When people are tired, stressed, or depressed, they are more likely to think, “I don’t want to go out for a walk” or “I don’t feel like going to the gym.”
So, in summary, yes, gratitude can make you feel happier which has a positive effect on other aspects of your life. When you sit around the Thanksgiving table and list all of the things you are thankful for, write them down and repeat every day. It only takes a few minutes and can make a big difference in your life. Try it and let me know what you think! I love to hear from you!
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Thanks.